Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
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