Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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