id be glad to
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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