Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
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