i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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