I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
