The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
