i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
