I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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