thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
