I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
