We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize