Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
