Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Randomize
