My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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