Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
