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FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
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