i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
