Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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