we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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