Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
