babies were throwing up all over the place
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
