i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Randomize