I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
