we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
This is the prime rib incident all over again
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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