im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
