I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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