I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I came so hard my ears popped.
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