It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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