Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
