He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
