I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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