Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize