..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
