At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
