He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
