Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
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