Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
