His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
