Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
