i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
