Reggie can tackle my bush.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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