Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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