It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
