You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
