I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
