At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
