i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
