So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
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