I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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