im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I can text with my tongue
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
