Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
