I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Randomize
