That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Randomize
