her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Say something about gay babies.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
the liver wants what the liver wants
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
