i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
