This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize