this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
