why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
