So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
