If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
