i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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