I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
