we have pet lesbian snakes
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
