You really coming over, don't trick.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
why does every cop we meet know your name?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
