You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
