I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
