Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
