He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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